Late Night Terrors
by wild-springflower
Summary: Nightmares were illogical, and yet he was still experiencing them. He'd tried every logical solution his mind could concoct but nothing had worked. So perhaps the solution to an illogical problem was simply not a logical one. -Developing Spirk with cuddles. Takes place after ID-
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys, this is a five part fic taking place over a time span of about 8 weeks. It's set basically directly after Into Darkness when they begin their 5-year mission. Like I already said this is developing Spirk with cuddles! One more thing, I apologize if Spock is OOC, he is a little more personal since the whole KHAAAAAAAAAN thing so hopefully none of this seems too weird! :P Enjoy.**

Spock was stumped; unfortunately it was not an entirely new experience for him. Ever since he had officially become second in command to the most illogical being he had ever met, he'd been faced with several problems concerning the human that seemed to have no solution.

Yet this problem wasn't related to his Captain. At least, not directly.

Spock had been experiencing what he knew humans referred to as nightmares. He'd tried meditating but it didn't help, often times during meditations he found his mind drifting to the object of his nightmares: Jim. Specifically Jim trapped and dying from radiation poisoning inside the ship's core.

It wasn't a problem he could bring himself to talk to his father about, no matter how frequent the dreams were becoming.

So, not for the first time that very week, Spock found himself awakening from one of his nightmares, having to exhibit great control to get his heartrate down to the correct rhythm. He sat for a moment in silence, breathing deeply in the darkness of his quarters.

Suddenly the silence was broken by quiet gasping noises and the sound of running water from the shared bathroom between his and Jim's quarters.

Curious as to what his Captain was doing up so late, Spock ordered the lights to fifteen percent and made his way over to investigate, knocking softly on the door.

Spock distinctly heard the Captain gasp, quickly followed by a string of hushed curse words. The door opened to reveal a very disheveled Jim Kirk, and the fact that he had not even attempted to make himself presentable set off alarm bells in Spock's mind.

"Spock? Did I wake you up?" He seemed slightly perturbed by the possibility so Spock was quick to end that line of thinking.

"No Jim, I was already awake. I heard what one could consider sounds of distress emitting from this room and I believed I should investigate."

"Oh." Jim blinked. "Well thanks but-"

"Can I enquire as to what is causing you distress Jim?"

Jim blinked again, taken aback by the forwardness of the Vulcan. "Uh, it's- it's really nothing." He finally responded with a hallow smile. "Illogical."

"As a being that relies heavily on logic, I can determine whether or not it is actually illogical, and please know Jim, even if it is illogical, it would not hinder my opinion of you in any way, nor would I pass judgement upon you."

Jim studied Spock for a moment with a wary expression, then swallowed thickly, averting his gaze quickly before opening his mouth to speak. "Sometimes I can't always tell what's real and what's fake, and when I have dreams about my- about what happened in the core it just kinda freaks me out. And then I wake up alone, in the dark. It just takes my brain a little while to figure out where I am, what's real."

Spock remained quiet for a moment in surprise, but the Captain misinterpreted his silence. "Told you it was illogical." He mumbled.

"No Jim, you misunderstand. I am merely surprised because I too have been experiencing unpleasant dreams surrounding the events that transpired in the warp core."

Jim's eyes snapped up to Spock in disbelief, "Really?"

"Vulcans never lie Jim."

Jim released a sigh that could only be interpreted as relief, though relief for what specifically Spock couldn't be sure. "I guess I just- I don't know, I thought I was the only one."

"To suffer ill effects regarding what happened to you in the warp core? Now that Jim, is illogical."

Jim huffed out a laugh, his smile not quite reaching his eyes. "So what do we do? Don't suppose you know any Vulcan voodoo to make this go away."

It was a statement, attempted jest, Spock could tell it wasn't an actual query. "I am afraid I do not." He replied anyway, eliciting a small grin from Jim, "and I am afraid to report that even my meditation had not helped."

"So we just live with it and hope it goes away soon."

Jim looked so crestfallen and defeated, so much like a shell of the usually vibrant person he was. Spock believed it was that look that prompted him to say what he said next, no matter how illogical it seemed. "I have heard that contact often helps to make one feel more comfortable. If you would like, you can rest in my quarters for the remainder of the evening."

A sly smirk overtook Jim's features, making him look more like the jovial man Spock was accustomed to seeing. "I'm flattered Spock, but I usually prefer to have dinner first."

"Usually?" Spock countered with a raised eyebrow.

Jim opened his mouth to argue but quickly realized he'd backed himself into a corner. So with a gentle smile he gestured for Spock to lead the way.

Spock obliged easily, settling onto the floor to meditate.

"Uh," Jim sounded uncomfortable. "I don't wanna kick you out of your bed."

"You have not, I would have sat on the floor to meditate whether you had accompanied me back or not."

"Oh." Jim shrugged before sitting down on the bed, but even though he eventually did lay down, Spock could tell by his breathing rhythm that he'd never actually fallen asleep.

It was more than likely going to be a long, slow road to recovery.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning Jim headed back to his quarters without a word and the two didn't mention the night at all. They barely even saw each other outside of normal bridge duties for two days.

It was on the third night that Spock was interrupted from his meditation by a tepid knock on his door. When he opened the door it was to find Jim standing before him, looking tired and ragged, age far beyond his mere twenty-six years shown in his eyes.

"Hey did I- I didn't wake you did I?" Jim asked with a cringe.

"You did not Jim." Spock answered, technically not lying; because although he had been meditation he had not actually been sleeping. "May I assist you with anything?"

"I just um-" Jim sniffed and Spock could see tears brimming in his eyes. "I had another dream, and I thought I was strong enough to handle this but-"

"Jim, your succumbing to nightmares over a traumatic experience in no way reflects poorly upon your inner strength. Do you wish me to do anything specific to assist you?" Spock asked again gently, giving the Captain his full attention.

"Can we just _do_ something? I don't care what, sit, talk, play chess, just something."

"Of course Jim."

So that night Commander and Captain spent their time chatting mindlessly and playing game after game of chess. When the time finally came for the two of them to get ready for their first shift Jim stood and made his way back to his room, pausing just inside the door to turn back and give Spock a small smile. "Thanks." And Spock could tell it was one of the most sincere thank you's he had ever received.


	3. Chapter 3

Surprisingly enough, it was Spock that ended up knocking on Jim's door next.

It had been four nights since Spock had spent the evening playing chess with Jim, the third night that he had found himself unable to meditate or sleep. He couldn't determine for sure what was causing him such distress, or even why his imagination was wreaking such havoc upon him all of a sudden, but every time he closed his eyes he saw Jim: vacant stare, lifeless body. He had to constantly remind himself that t _hat_ was not reality.

So when he'd attempted and failed to meditate for about the sixth time that night Spock decided enough was enough. It may have been illogical, but so were nightmares. He stood and crossed his room in three purposeful strides, stepping through the bathroom, then knocking on Jim's door lightly.

It took a moment for the door to open and Spock immediately regretted his decision. From the way Jim was rubbing his eyes and yawning, it was apparent that he had actually been getting some rest.

"Sp'k?" He questioned tiredly.

"Pardon the interrupted Captain, I will retreat to my quarters."

"No, hey-" Jim swatted a tired hand out and gripped Spock's shirt before the Vulcan could turn to leave. "Did you have a nightmare?"

"Not exactly. I have actually been neglecting to meditate or sleep because I am positive a nightmare will result if I do." Spock responded truthfully.

Jim looked up at his First and nodded sadly in understanding. "Know what you mean. Come on." And with a slight tug against the fabric Jim was still griping, he dragged the Vulcan into his quarters. He trudged back over to his bed, nearly tripping over something on the floor on his way. "Sorry about the mess."

"Not a problem."

Jim flopped onto his mattress, then scooted over and patted the spot next to him, making Spock's cheeks tinge green when he deduced his Captain wished for them to sit together on his bed. Nonetheless he obliged.

"What's been keeping you up?" Jim asked gently.

Spock found himself slightly uncomfortable to voice exactly what he'd been seeing. It was illogical, and for a Vulcan that was very embarrassing. But he'd already confessed to Jim that he'd been experiencing nightmares; he couldn't take it back. "Images. Memories of you. Your final moments in the warp core, lying pulseless on a hospital bed."

Spock noticed Jim blink harshly out of the corner of his eye and realized his words caused both of them significant pain.

"Here." Jim said, snaking his hand over to Spock's and guiding the Vulcan's hand to rest atop his chest. "Feel that?"

"Your heartbeat."

"Can't have one of those if you're dead. Get some sleep Spock."

So the two spent the entire night like that; curled up in the same bed, Spock's hand resting over Jim's heart, and Spock was able to get the best sleep he'd had in weeks.


	4. Chapter 4

It became something of a routine for them; it didn't happen every night but it was rare for them to go an entire week without incident.

It was Saturday night and the statistical likelihood of either himself or Jim waking from a nightmare was exponential because so far that week had been clear.

Spock couldn't focus on his meditation, he was too busy straining to hear the quiet rustle of sheets closely followed by a soft tap on the bathroom door.

In all probability it was going to be Jim that came knocking, Spock hadn't had a bad nightmare in quite a while. He didn't believe he was one hundred percent fine yet but he was closer to being there than he had been just six weeks before.

Spock had to wait about one more hour before his prediction was proven correct. When he opened the door it was to find the same disheveled image of his Captain he'd been greeted with every night he knocked.

He let the Captain in immediately, both settling into bed next to one another as had become their custom.

"Why do you not alert Dr. McCoy of these issues?" Spock asked out of pure curiosity when the room lapsed into silence. "I am certain he would be able to assist in making the nightmares cease."

Jim took a moment to answer, breathing deeply and seeming to get his thoughts in order. "Bones already has so much on his plate, an entire ship of people to worry about. Not to mention he _already_ worries about me because I'm an accident-prone freak of nature. What type of friend would I be if I added more to his already full plate?"

"I am positive he would not mind. Quite the opposite in fact, if I know the doctor correctly, I believe he would feel more upset by you not alerting him immediately than you adding to his work load."

"Be that as it may it's not gonna change anything. Bones has a way of caring too much about others, even at the expense of his personal health."

"That sounds like an accurate description of another person I am acquainted with."

Jim smiled slightly before rolling onto his side. He fell asleep without another word.

It was late into the evening when Spock was awoken from his slumber, but when he blinked awake he wasn't sure what it was that had pulled him out of his thankfully peaceful dreams. Then he heard it again: a whimper.

Glancing down at his current bed companion it was obvious to see that he was in distress. Jim's eyes were scrunched up tight, breaths coming in tight gasps.

"Jim." Spock called urgently, knowing the best course of action to be waking Jim up. "Jim."

Suddenly Jim shot awake, eyes wide and full of terror as he pulled in gasping breath after gasping breath. "Shit." He wheezed, running a shaking hand through his hair. "That was a bad one."

"Was it the same?" Spock questioned, staying near Jim as he knew his body heat helped to calm the man down.

"I was in the core, I couldn't breathe." Jim huffed out, still gasping heavily. "Every time I tried it burned."

Spock didn't know what to say, six weeks and he was still not good at the reassurances. Instead he allowed Jim to gather his thoughts and calm his breathing in silence, all the while remaining close to his Captain's side.

"We paint a pretty picture, don't we?" Jim's tired voice shattered the silence that had fallen over the room.

Spock paused a moment to consider how things must have looked to a passerby: Captain and First Officer curled up against one another in the same bed. "Quite the spectacle I am sure."

"I just want them to stop." Jim whispered, scrunching his eyes shut tight as tears began to fall.

"They will Jim." Spock promised readily.

"When?" Jim sniffed in defeat.

"Eventually. And until then I will always be available for you."

"Thanks Spock."

"You are most welcome Jim."


	5. Chapter 5

Miraculously, the next week was nightmare free. Neither he nor Jim awoke because of a dream.

Two weeks in and Spock could only assume things were finally improving.

Two weeks and five days had Spock almost entirely convinced that Jim was okay, until a knock on his door startled him from his meditation.

"Good evening Jim." Spock greeted upon opening his door.

"Hey." Jim replied distractedly.

Aside from his obvious nervous demeanor, Jim looked significantly better than he had the first night he'd knocked on Spock's door. The dark bags under his eyes were all but gone, his cheeks less hallow, and his skin tone more closely resembled that of a living being.

Spock stepped aside to let Jim through, but instead of making himself comfortable in his bed, as was Jim's habit, Jim began to pace in front of Spock's bed. "Jim?" Spock questioned with a tilt of his head.

"Sorry to bother you Spock." Jim mumbled in reply, continuing his nervous pace back and forth.

"I have said it before Jim: it will never bother me to assist you. Do you wish to lie down?"

Jim paused a moment and regarded the bed in contemplation. "Yeah, yeah sure." He finally relented.

Spock crossed the room and settled onto the mattress next to his Captain. "I am surprised you are here tonight Jim. After 2.4 weeks without any nightmares I had assumed they were getting better."

"Yeah." Jim seemed distracted and that worried Spock; it must have been a particularly bad bream to have this kind of effect on Jim.

"Do you wish to discuss it?" Spock questioned but Jim remained silent, tapping his leg with his fingers incessantly.

The room lapsed into a comfortable silence and stayed that way until Jim shifted, pivoting his body so he was facing Spock. Their faces were fairly close together and in the dim light of his bedroom Spock could see the seriousness in Jim's eyes.

"I have a confession." He said quietly, never breaking eye contact.

Spock's eyebrow rose in intrigue but he remained silent.

"I didn't have a nightmare tonight."

The two sat for a moment, Jim's wide, nervous eyes never leaving Spock's small, collected gaze.

"Please explain then Jim, why is it you have come to my-" Spock began, but was interrupted when Jim leaned forward and planted his lips firmly against the Vulcan's.

It was unlike anything Spock had ever felt, desperate but passionate, a bubbling energy, like electricity that transferred between the two of them.

Jim pulled back, breathing deeply and looking anxiously up at Spock, mouth slightly agape and apprehension showing in his eyes. He was waiting for Spock to make the next move, nervous but excited all at once.

Then Spock did the most illogical thing of all; he kissed back. In the end he wasn't even sure why he did it; love was not logical.

Then again, neither were nightmares.


End file.
